Some people are afraid of commitment, others afraid of letting anyone get too close, afraid of falling in love and losing themselves. I’m not afraid of any of that. So what is my hang up about dating? What is my issue that I bring to the table and have to deal with and work on in order to be happy?
Honestly, I have high standards, maybe even impossible standards. And when I meet men, I immediately sum them up and determine them to be underneath the qualifying line that says they are worth my time. I think my sister and I have this in common from seeing our parents so ridiculously in love for 25 years and counting. I have high standards and the guys of Mid-Michigan just aren’t gonna cut it.
But I feel like it’s not a bad thing to have high standards, however impossible they may seem. Because I fucking deserve the best. I deserve a gorgeous man who makes me laugh and think. A man who respects me and my dreams, values and beliefs. A man who will make me ridiculously happy for the rest of my life.
I fucking deserve that. Everyone does. Everyone deserves a partner who they just can’t get enough of, day in and day out for years and years. Everyone should have higher standards.
So when I tell someone that I have been single for five years, and they say that my standards are too high, I will take it as a compliment. A compliment that says I care more about myself and being happy than about the social definition of normal by being in back to back shitty relationships.
So yeah, I have high standards and that is never going to change.
The Art of Manliness
- She is attractive, of course, but is that her chief asset? (Try to imagine her ten years from today.)
- Do you want her because she is popular–because other men have wanted her? (Don’t be a copy-cat!)
- Could you spend seven consecutive evenings in her company without being bored? (If the answer is affirmative, it is a good sign.)
- Do you have similar tastes in most things?
- Is she a good sport?
- Is she reasonably healthy?
- Is she a flirt? Does she make you jealous? (Decide whether you can stand the strain; your jealously will persist until you grow indifferent.)
- Are you constantly irritated by some small mannerism of hers? (You can’t be terribly in love.)
- Does she tell lies? Do you mind?
- Is she a nag?
- Is she quarrelsome? (The Bible warns, “It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop than with a brawling woman in a wide house.”)
- Is she hard on other people? (Don’t judge by her behavior to you.)
- Is she trying to reform you? How do you feel about being reformed?
- Has she tried to boss you? (Maybe you need a boss.)
- Would she put up with all your faults if she knew them?
- When you quarrel, who capitulates first? (A combination of two stubborn mules is bad.)
- Do you agree on children, or a career, or both? (Better settle this beforehand.)
- Does she expect you to support her in a definite style? Could you count on her cooperation in hard times? Would she go to work if necessary?
- Will she help you get ahead? Or will she pull you away from your work?
- Can she handle money?
- If you marry her, will you also be marrying her family?
- Does she let you get around to see your old pals? (If you have been too infatuated to notice, make it a point of finding out.)
- Are you proud to present her to your friends? (If not, reconsider.)
- Do you hope to reform her? (Give up the idea. People change, but not according to plan.)
- Do you know her faults? Are you willing to live with them?
- Do you still think her perfect? (You’re wrong, of course, but marry!)
How to make sure you are with the right person. Girl or guy, this list is…perfect